While living at school in dorms that were worse for wear, I got sick. The school used to be a boarding school for native children stolen from their families. The land is saturated with that history, there are reminders of that dark past lingering on every square inch. While I was lying on my plastic covered mattress in the always humid dorm room waiting for my fever to pass the sun was setting just past my line of sight. I barely had enough strength to move to my window to close the blinds and caught an odd reflection in my window. The way the too bright orange lights hit my face reminded me of a long ago tribal housing complex, listening to my parents have a tense whispered argument in the next room. I remember looking up and seeing a red hawk flying across the same colored street lamps, rez dogs returning to their chosen porch for the night. I wanted to be like them, for better or worse, but free to roam. I felt that moment so strongly and saw an owl in the large oak across the cracked circle drive, an empty sonic cup banging against the curb. What a place to have lived, what a time to have lived, past and present seemed to melt together in the way fevers tend to facilitate. How many children were sick like this, with no medicine, no help, and no way home? It is a strange feeling, to feel humbled, sad, angry, and nostalgic all at once. When I saw my reflection, through the haze of bloodshot eyes and a pounding headache, I thought maybe this was an ancestor coming to find me to bring me home finally. When I woke up the fever had broken, but that memory and the feeling of it in that moment will stay with me for many many years. Pastel and charcoal on paper
This image is available for the following products: Canvas Prints, Framed Prints, Acrylic Wall Prints, Giclee Fine Art Prints, Prints & Posters
While living at school in dorms that were worse for wear, I got sick. The school used to be a boarding school for native children stolen from their families. The land is saturated with that history, there are reminders of that dark past lingering on every square inch. While I was lying on my plastic covered mattress in the always humid dorm room waiting for my fever to pass the sun was setting just past my line of sight. I barely had enough strength to move to my window to close the blinds and caught an odd reflection in my window. The way the too bright orange lights hit my face reminded me of a long ago tribal housing complex, listening to my parents have a tense whispered argument in the next room. I remember looking up and seeing a red hawk flying across the same colored street lamps, rez dogs returning to their chosen porch for the night. I wanted to be like them, for better or worse, but free to roam. I felt that moment so strongly and saw an owl in the large oak across the cracked circle drive, an empty sonic cup banging against the curb. What a place to have lived, what a time to have lived, past and present seemed to melt together in the way fevers tend to facilitate. How many children were sick like this, with no medicine, no help, and no way home? It is a strange feeling, to feel humbled, sad, angry, and nostalgic all at once. When I saw my reflection, through the haze of bloodshot eyes and a pounding headache, I thought maybe this was an ancestor coming to find me to bring me home finally. When I woke up the fever had broken, but that memory and the feeling of it in that moment will stay with me for many many years. Pastel and charcoal on paper
This image is available for the following products: Canvas Prints, Framed Prints, Acrylic Wall Prints, Giclee Fine Art Prints, Prints & Posters
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